Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Not so helpful HR staff and men

I feel like Debbie Downer with my saga of the job from hell, but here is the latest update. The boss asked if I was "happy" yesterday. He had mentioned that the 2 women managers in the department said that I did not look happy. Well why didn't they ask? Since he asked the question I of course felt compelled to thank him for asking and answer it for him. Why yes, I am not happy, I don't sleep at night and I cry on a regular basis. Let's talk about how much I lothe coming to work. I did not say it in those exact words, but I did explain that the lack of meaningful work is not satisfying, they staff are cold at best and if I had to do it over again I would have stayed at my old job. His response was "you are over-qualified and it is only work" Only work! where I spend 8 long painful hours doing meaningless tasks and saying little if nothing to co-workers. Men, enough said! But I do have to make the best of it, short of winning the current lottery pot of $270 million I need to work. So I need to make this work until something else comes along. That was the solution from the meeting. I feel like Tim on Project Runway...Make it work! But now the monkey is off my back and everyone knows how I feel, but is that the best thing for your boss to know that you are unhappy?
So today I have noticed that the female managers are being way too friendly. In a forced kind of way, not in a genuine way. Why weren't they friendly when I started 7 1/2 weeks ago? It makes me feel uncomfortable. Like I am being watched.
So now back to the less than helpful HR folks. I called the helpful HR rep on my way home yesterday to let her know what had transpired and asked her to email me to arrange a time to talk. I sent her a kind email this morning...can we talk? Nothing.
I did bear my soul to my old boss via email. I felt like a kid who ran away from home and was begging her parents for forgiveness. I admitted that I screwed up and never should have left all for money.
So I am actively looking for work both in and out of my current hell. I come to work, try to look busy and knit my never ending cable rib socks at lunch. I need to say a pray to St. Anthony, the patron saint of hopeless cases, to win the lottery on Friday or at least have a job come my way.
I am so trying not to be Debbie Downer. Everyday for the past 6 weeks I remind myself how lucky I am that my family is healthy, we have a place to live and food in the fridge. I would do just about anything to get rid of this black karma cloud that hangs over my 2008.
So I am off to look busy...

No comments: